"I got to see my daughter this morning. She’s off to school. She’s in year four now. It’s outrageous. She turned nine on Christmas day. I only get to see her for about half an hour in the morning before I have to go to work. She gets up super early and wakes me up. I don’t set an alarm. She comes in and turns my light on immediately. So, no lie-ins for me. But, it’s good. She’s like the world’s cutest alarm clock.
Strangely enough, one of the worst moments of my life was when she was born. My wife was in labour. We haven’t slept for thirty hours. She’s in pain. It’s horrible. I’ve got a phobia of blood, so I’m useless. There’s stuff going on down there. It’s just the fear of it all. When my daughter actually came out, she didn’t cry straight away. Weren’t they supposed to scream and cry? And I thought, “Oh my god, she isn’t breathing.” I panicked. And then, when you’re handed this child, it’s like, “Oh my god, I’m totally responsible. I don’t know what to do.” That’s terrifying. That lasted for a while, I think. I felt awful because it wasn’t that magic moment. Everyone says that the birth of a child is the most incredible thing, but I just felt like shit. I was knackered. Scared. I don’t think that helps actually. This preconceived notion that this should be the best moment of your life. Actually, it’s the should-bes in life that cause all the problems. You should be doing this. You should have this job at this age. You should be married. All this kind of crap. And if you don’t achieve that, you feel like rubbish. You feel isolated. You think something is wrong with you when actually there isn’t. Everyone just adapts to things differently."
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